I Meant To Tell You

I meant to tell you that I love you
But I guess I got caught up in lust with another
I meant to tell you that you mean the world to me
But for some reason I assumed that I could tell you later
I always knew that you were different
But I guess at the time I only wanted average
Sometimes I have the tendency to run to the arms of those who mean no good
But at the time no good feels so good
So many things I meant to tell you but I guess I was to busy
Do what or doing who
I wanted you to know that I wasnt happy but was afraid for you to make me happy
I guess sometimes unhappiness is so much easier than happiness

Love is…Any Questions?

Laziness in the bones
Intergrated with the flesh
Their eyes were watching God
God was watching them undress
These genetic codes as they unfold and tols a tale of sleep drenched bodies seeking a new day
Afraid to enter a committment as our limbs intertwine with our tongues at first
Love is present but never stated
Overrated by all as well as overstated by soome
So let it stay out for one night
Their eyes were watching God
To the point that heaven was reachable
But the laziness in the bones intergrated with the flesh
Caused nothing but rest to befall their eyes
Limbs separate
Welcoming the state of sleep

b.poetic

My Rights

by Unekwoman

I have a right to feel
Especially the feelings of sadness
Through all this drama and madness
A good thing is what I wanted
Our love was taunted
My feelings are numb
Thoughts make me feel dumb
Dumb to believe in us
Love to disgust

I have a right to shed tears
Over the pain for many years
Diggin deep to assure you, you’re the man
Through tragedies, helping you understand
Being your arms to reach for the stars
Being your hope thru time behinds bars
Tears that are wet become dry
No more tears and you’re the reason why

I have a right to put on the brakes
Stoppin the over and over mistakes
Confused of love and lust
Breakin the heart of trust
Stop stop stop this is it
Uncertain love, so this is what I get
I have a right to feel
I have a right to tears
I have a right to put on the brakes
Most of all I have a right to heal.

“PRETENDING TO BE”

YOU PUT ON A ACT AND PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING YOU NEVER WERE
IT’S A SHAME HOW I GAVE YOU MY ALL AND I WAS NEVER REALLY SURE….
ALL YOUR SNEAKY ACTIONS WERE UNKNOWN
I BELIEVED EVERYTHING YOU GENTLY WISPERED TO ME ON THE PHONE…
YOU PUT ON A PHASAUGE AND BUILT A WHOLE NEW YOU
BECAUSE OF THAT IM CONFUSED AND BLUE
YOU LEFT ME BUT YOU TAUGHT ME NEVER TRUST NO NIGGA,NO BOY,NO MAN
I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE HARD
BUT IMA WORK THROUGH THIS THE BEST I CAN!!!

Street Shit

20″ rims or better, blew the brains out my car and outlined it in Louis Viutton leather- System 15 and up- I’m a dope boy this street life is something I can’t give up- Moving keys to the West Indies- My re-up be so much I can set myself up for life, but I love this street shit- In school they don’t teach you an oz can make you rich- Nobody ever said you can flip that into a brick-Nobody ever told me that you can get life in the pen and all of your rides and your people turn their back so quick- I was young and having fun- I was stupid living life like I was KING-I’m 35 I been in here since I was 19- Everything I had is just that i hadt it-Now its all gone- If I could turn my life around I wouldn’t have made that drop I would have taken my ass home-Rims, girls,clothes i had it all, but they got me with 9 keys of uncut when they gave me my judgement i saw my mom heart fall- 19 sentenced to life w/o parole- I was a baby my childhood is just like my life IT’S GONE- This is what happens when you choose to do wrong-This is the outcome when your mom teaches you to do right and you pretend you can’t hear it, but now its too late and any dream I ever had is now GONE-You see I will rot in this cell for as long as the lord will allow me to live I am trapped behind bars with none of the friends I had on the street- Its up to me to keep me on my feet- I messed up my life, but you can do better- Think twice before you make decisions or you’ll end up doing 25 or BETTER!!!!!

By: Brittany “BabyGirl” Phifer

Empowered

My wife speaks life to me
and pardon me while I elaborate
but I don’t think you understand
see, she speaks life to me!

In the midst of situations
holding little or no hope of
a positive outcome;
situations where many would give up,
some deeper perseverance rises
empowering a tired spirit and weak flesh
to breathe and press and be,
because,
my wife speaks life to me.

Not just words of encouragement
sent from someone with little confidence
but from deep inside where
spiritual power resides,
she feeds my soul,
helping me to regain control
of my situation;
allowing the GOD given victory
to fall down upon my location –
the kind of victory that only
dwells with the perseverant and faithful
and all of this
in me exists because
my wife, speaks life to me.
________________________________

By John M. Swails 2006

Paper Place

by John M Swails

I’m tired of
rubber opinions and
plastic personalities
bouncing and shaping to the latest
popularity poll;
souls sold to
the most “happening” bidder,
while those who didn’t sell
are setup as “sell outs”
and clout buys all the self-esteem
you can afford
to hide your greed
and insecurity behind.

Come one, come all;
don’t miss the next ship of opportunity,
leaving from the dock of denial
enroute to the land of no integrity.
But fear not,
political power drinks will be provided
to lull you into forgetfulness
while a jury of new found friends
help you reconstruct
your convictions:

One Jones,
two Jones,
all Jones,
with no thrones,
but there will be no complaints
because no thoughts are allowed,
and all opinions will be
delegated to you,
by a member of
the “in crowd” cabinet.
All habits
shall be broken and reset
according to the doctrine of society,
but study quickly
as it changes without warning
and you don’t want the morning
to catch you uninformed.

So tell me…
are you happy
yet?

© 2006 John M. Swails.
All Rights Reserved.

Pre-Requiem

by John M Swails

There’s a slow sort of dieing going on
like when a dog stops drinking available water
or doing any of the many things he or she aught to do
to maintain;
almost as if the brain has decided to dismiss life,
and suicide is unconsciously entertained
like a shortcut to a quick reward.
No.. not as blunt or obvious
but the end result remains the same.

Too many brothers, fathers, sisters, and mothers,
have given up the right to think
in exchange for the comfort
of a financial plantation,
submitting to the gospel of the media’s dogma
and offering up their rights…
three by two by one
till none think for themselves
and the fences’ boundaries
slowly close in.

But they… no, we, are numb to this
blinded by artificial success;
we fail to recognize our dependency.
And with voices successfully squelched,
we are led to the slaughter –
incarcerated son…
raped and devalued daughter.
Fathers first to be removed with the art of
deception, depression and greed,
leaving mothers to depend on others for their needs,
and government offerings hide secret agendas
but having invited the viper in
her guard is easily subdued and removed,
leaving her offspring
as easy prey for their venom.

This poison begins in main stream education,
removing any indication
that Black culture’s contributions towards society exist.
Inventions reassigned
or just as easily dismissed,
removing pride of ancestry
to be replaced by low self-esteem
and bleak prospects for any piece
of the “American Dream,”
seeds killed
before plants ever get a chance to form.
Dreams shattered
almost before they’re ever born.
And with no past to stand on,
what does one’s future hold?
And with no one to guide them
when will the truth be told?

There’s a slow sort of dieing going on
like when a dog stops drinking available water
or doing any of the many things he or she aught to do
to maintain,
almost as if the brain has decided to dismiss life,
but the saddest part of all is
the antidote of truth
has been here
all the time.

© 2004 John M. Swails.
All Rights Reserved

Our Responsibility

to be free was the dream he had
everyday he stood he would let the words lash
“free at last ,thank god almighty free at last”
well that was the past now his words seem to have run out of gas
instead of rejoicing this heros stance,we take it for granted just like class
no more great speeches being chanted
cuz weve already inherited or status
but when will the next step be made
more power,more knowledge ,more black
in the schools thats where its at
yes we’ve made it to the big leagues
all over the tube makin them more bread
until you hit a stump you think they’ll help you up
what did you espect,just take this in perspective
skills diminish with time while the mind grows wiser
which would you rather have?

Am I Allowed…

Am I allowed to feel
Now that the feeling that
I thought
Would last forever is lost
I am too scared to heal
Because that love was too real
And the pain was so deep
Causing me to keep
Him always in my memory

Am I allowed to be bitter
When he left me alone
Left my world crumbling
Tho I sat still on my own
I am not bitter enough to never love again
But I am too bitter to believe that I will ever love again

Am I allowed to cry
The tears that fall
Because he left me
After it all
Even through the jail
Even through the hell
That we faced together
And I can’t replace
The 2 yrs that are now wasted
On him

Am I allowed to hate him
Tho I used to date him
Tho’ his kisses were enslaving
and tho even now my thighs still crave him
I am not full of disgust
But I hate how he’s done
Things that no one
Who was in love would do
No one who had a heart
Could put you through

After all this time I just want to know
Am I allowed
To have pain from my past
From this man who’s hurt will forever last
In my memory
Now a part of me
If I am please let me know
Because tho I may seem bitter
I am just broken and it shows