outside room forty three

Through assimilation, simile, and metaphor
We see into project corridors
Outside door 43, the lampshade shakes violently
Intermittently like car blinkers, the light flickers
Her concussions would lead to significant repercussions
Conscious I am, so consciously I see
Crackhead logic of addiction, leading to contradictions
I love you so I beat your ass
I love you so I feed you with the very same substance that kills you
Give you a needle and expect you to show gratitude by falling to your knees
Crackhead logic often misreads life’s simplest signals
Those that aren’t subliminal,
As fresh and obvious as drool on a new day’s pillow
Rest in peace is engraved on the tombstone in concave lettering
An unfittingly calm setting for a life so turbulent
Violence has a scent that is revolting and interesting just the same
Small children, growing up around it, inhale it into their brains
Where is resides and festers
The leading cause of rapists and child molesters
See I understand
The story does not always begin with the guilty
And society is so used to Court TV that it lacks sympathy
A sympathetic ear, a sympathetic heart, a sympathetic mind, forget it
So when her little son, pulled back the trigger, while cocking the gun
I saw self defense when others saw negligence mixed with vengeance
The fact that, as he lay bleeding, the young boy repeatedly punched him
Was justification to me, while others saw it as fruits of cursed semen
the prequel tales of a young demon
The light flickered outside room 43
His mother came home and called the cops
The jail bars close on a fourteen year old and our story stops

Avid

The Law of Diminishing Returns

One slave,crudely fashioned for the business world
prerequisite for employment
Need to survive
One more day
Yet alone
One more day
Special training will be provided
No need to apply
Your employment has just been guaranteed

Your rules of employment
evident in the fact that you exist
oftentimes without the need for intellect
Personality excluded
You now have the right to reproduce
every family member is entitled
to similar benefits
After several breaths have occurred
In effect signing their contract

After some time in our union of workers
you may gain a name
Your family will be established in society
Simply due to its affect on societies construction
Let the nameless earn their own way
Warning
Some blood stains do not wash away
but require special treatment before they
dissolve into organic structures
barely recognizable as what they ever
Were

It is not the responsibility of management
to heal broken bodies or parts thereof
nor broken spirits therein
Be it known at the onset of employment
that your wages are negotiable tender
totally valued by your employer
according to daily market values he establishes
As produced by expected market fluctuations

In the event you may be released
from your present contractual obligations
it is agreed that 40 acres and a mule
shall be your precondition to retirement
It is your employer’s desire that you
be brought up in the fullness of your experience
and acceptable as a full citizen
Your descendants will be privy to these same
Earned benefits

Be it fully understood that one man or woman’s labor
is equal under God’s eyes
Your employer welcomes you and your offspring into
Society
As we know it
As you soon will know it
Liberated and free to grow
Educate your young
Know the fullness of life within it’s safe confines
Breathe deep
Know you are on hallowed grounds
A privilege you may fully understand
One day,yet to come

Warning
Once an employee is fully informed
to that degree to which he is entitled
It remains the former employees
Responsibility
As a fully capable member of society
To indoctrinate and elucidate
possible future…….”naturalized”
Employees
Of all published and unpublished
Rules of operation
As they may pertain to newly applicable rules
which may revise previously stated rules
Referred to from this point on as “Enterprise Structures”

It is further stated as a matter of
Confederation
That all incidents related to company operation
Now referred to as
“Casualties and Acts producing Casualties”
shall be the “Soul” responsibility
Of the employee
and all the heirs of the employees
Ad Infinitum or
Till Hell boils over

Are you positive?

Life is a bitch. I used to enjoy life. But to me life has so many downfalls and they all begin like this…… “Everything was going good up until that day.” Well in my life everything wasnt so good and I knew that worst had not visited me yet but was coming. My boyfriend had played all his cards just to get me to tlak to him. And once we started kicking it things were really good for about the first 2 months or so. Then he started acting out always wanted to leave early and come home late but I let that slide. I started to trip when he would come home late and wake me up out of my sleep just to have sex. Now in the beginning when he wasnt chasing trash in the streets the sex used to be something you couldnt get enough of but once he started getting his time to do whatever he was doing or should I say whoever he was doing the sex unlike us did an whole 69. Sex that udes to be fun, sweet, sexy, long, and craving turned into sweaty, hot, rough, quick, nightmares of disgust. Not only was the sex the problem the whole relationship change but none of it ws good. When he cheated he was so obvious but I never made it a big issue cause I was scared at the time. Not only did this boy direspect me but he hit me and abused me in more ways than one. But I did my dirt too. I just never got caught cause I am a real bitch to just tell him. But when the first relationship was over I found out that he had HIV and that he had gave it to me but that first girl he gave it to is his babymama but she is also the one he keeps running back to. So time went by slowly after our break then we got back together and this time it didnt even last 2 weeks but just like always in the beginning the sex is the bomb but I knew it had changed so I left again and you can guess who ran to again. So there we were a month ago trying to work it out once more but it didnt last. We are all in love. But he is confused about who really loves him because she doesnt have to really love you because she is your baby’s mama. But to wrap this up I feel obligated to run back to him whenever he calls because I refused to go thru this alone. Its not right for someone to love you and hurt you and then dismiss you. I am going to get revenge on him and her but I left out alot of details but they will both pay for ruining my life and I am absolutely positive about that………. HIV positive to be exact…….

Someday, Baby

Mama, mama
Will I ever grow up
Like the lady on TV–
She’s strong, proud and tough
Have my opinion respected,
My voice widely heard
You think maybe, just maybe,
“Someday, baby”.

Mama, mam
Will there be a time
When I can open a hospital
And help all humankind
To help all people enjoy life
Whether they have money or not
You think maybe, just maybe,
“Someday, baby.”

Mama, mama
Will there come a day
When I’ll be cloaked all in white
And you’ll give me away
To the man of our dreams
He’ll cherish me so
You think maybe, just maybe.
“Someday, baby.”

Mama, mama
Will I live to see
The day we’ll all be as one
And live in harmony?
Not in fear, but in love
The way God intended
You think maybe, just maybe,
“Someday, baby.”

To You Pops

Waking up at night
Without you by my side
A strong, intelligent and beautiful young boy without a father,
Night after night, I’d cry.

I tried not to think about you,
Because I knew one day you’d come for me.
I accomplished so much as a child,
I wish that you could only see.

God created something beautiful September 27, 1962.
A strong, courageous and beautiful woman…my mom,
The substitute for you.

Since you weren’t there,
She took great care of me.
She was my Santa, Tooth Fairy, pride and joy,
Things you could never be.

I’m not waiting for you anymore.
A long time ago that stopped.
You missed out on the best son,
This is to you pops.

Questions of How You Teach

I was taught to hold my head high.
I was taught to be strong.
I was taught to speak up,
Or not to be scared of anyone.

I taught to be confident,
And not care about the negative people say about me.
What if the negative is coming from you?
Why all of a sudden teach so differently?

I was taught to be open-minded.
Never to judge others, just leave them alone.
Now why is it so difficult to open your mind,
To someone so uniquely precious at home?

I was taught to want the word of the lord,
And everybody tries to give their all.
Mom what happened?
Why does it hurt a little when you catch me when I fall?

Is it because I was taught,
To love you unconditionally?
Short, broke, beautifully plumped, ma anything.
Why can’t you just do the same for me?

I was taught to never stay down,
Because you’d never get up to win.
Am I such a bad person,
Because in a different way I sin?

Ma, please help me.
I’m so down and I don’t see how I can stand.
You taught me before.
Please, teach me how to get up again.

My life…

You may think my life is all goodie goodie and fun
But my life ….(HA) its like a child in a burning down home
Smoke head to toe fighting its way into her lungs
Thick black fog is all you see not knowing where you going to be
Calling out to her mom and dad the smoke tasting like a gallon of gas
Hearing them calling back but she focus on the chemicals and smell
Then all of sudden their call get dell
Now the questions is “will I have to make it out on my own
Or will I need someone to help me carry on”
But den in yet she make it out on her own sweating head to toe and all alone
This is my me a scared and lonely girl

Untitled

Exaggerated claims of things to be ashamed
Just to follow the crowd, instead of speaking the truth aloud
To want to feel accepted in this world is just expected
Of me, you, and everyone whose flaws and faults weigh a ton.

Low self-esteem is really a common thing
Although people these days try to act unfazed
Deep down inside always trying to hide
Their true feelings and pains, which never get them any gains

Thats why I say without a doubt, we should shout it out
Let the world know who we really are even if we arent up to par
With the expectations of our current generations
Because nine times out of ten these are the feelings of many other men.

Juaneka Gore…Poetic_Soul

Connection

A thought came to me…
These words you read
Are not poetry
Just my narration
Of the things
That I feel, think, experience, believe, and see
A glimpse into the womb of my mind
Where ideas aren’t always conceived immaculately
Because influence comes in many forms constantly
Both internally and externally
But I share with you my mentality
As I remove my mask and strip naked
And allow you to see ME
The pen acting as midwife
In my attempt to birth and give life to my thoughts
And make them reality
Living and breathing
Constantly growing and changing
Going through phases
Just as you and me
Because in all actuality
Life is truly the poetry
In motion
Perpetuated by forces
Seen and “unseen”
Heard and “unheard”
Felt and “not felt”
New lines and concepts
Are added continuously
As life changes constantly
Molding
Weakening
Breaking
Rebuilding
Strengthening
and Shaping
ME
And at times I am struck
With moments of clarity
Like the thought that
I am you
And you are me
Everything is connected to everything
So we are we
A patchwork quilt
Made with different swatches of fabric
Of many different colors, patterns, and textures
That look nice individually
But sewn together
Create a work of art
That was crafted beautifully
And masterfully
See, life is about connection
Of all things
From mental
To physical
To spiritual
The trinity of life
That exists in and around us
But is often ignored
Because somewhere between
Our inception and conception
We lost our sense of connectivity
Walking around
In the ambiguity of individuality
Assuming that it is all about us personally
Never stopping to notice
The cause and effect
Or the cause and affect
That links us all non-physically
Yet we exchange vibes and energy
Sometimes purposefully
Sometimes inadvertently
Our eyes are wide shut usually
Often too disconnected from self
To appreciated the exchange
And the connection to our surroundings
But for a moment and all of a sudden
I was wide awake
And I saw the world differently
So I fight sleep mentally
Staying conscious
By attempting to wake you
And make you think
Provoking and evoking enlightenment
So that you can join me
Because from where I stand
It can get lonely
So I share myself with you
So you can get to know me
And connect.

J.B. ©2006