Out of LUST

I was no longer mesmerized
by his rim size
nor was I impressed
with his American Express
(which had a $300.00 credit line)
no longer defined by Louie Vuiton
or the Coach bag he brought with drug money
how funny?
all the times I spent looking up
while on my back
rewarding casual gifts with sinfulness
as if we were closing a deal
no more medicines or creams to remedy
the aches and disease that I contracted
compliments of your lack of faithfulness
to your body and God
today is a new day to do away with the past
and while love sometimes never last
neither does lust which is what we had
love without trust and obligation
self degradation
I am now awake and no longer in LUST with you.

Personal Passion

phoetry

poetry and photography
are lovers
they share the same imaginative
and body space
said to be worth a thousand words
well written, felt in the heart
they can be gazed upon for centuries
sampled and forged
recited in infinitum
analyzed criticized and even burned
those that escape censorship
bridge the divide between canvas and calligraphy
dispensing with margins
and discarding frames
are treasured from the heart
as something new
phoetry

(c) Jesse Sharpe 2006

Are you positive?

Life is a bitch. I used to enjoy life. But to me life has so many downfalls and they all begin like this…… “Everything was going good up until that day.” Well in my life everything wasnt so good and I knew that worst had not visited me yet but was coming. My boyfriend had played all his cards just to get me to tlak to him. And once we started kicking it things were really good for about the first 2 months or so. Then he started acting out always wanted to leave early and come home late but I let that slide. I started to trip when he would come home late and wake me up out of my sleep just to have sex. Now in the beginning when he wasnt chasing trash in the streets the sex used to be something you couldnt get enough of but once he started getting his time to do whatever he was doing or should I say whoever he was doing the sex unlike us did an whole 69. Sex that udes to be fun, sweet, sexy, long, and craving turned into sweaty, hot, rough, quick, nightmares of disgust. Not only was the sex the problem the whole relationship change but none of it ws good. When he cheated he was so obvious but I never made it a big issue cause I was scared at the time. Not only did this boy direspect me but he hit me and abused me in more ways than one. But I did my dirt too. I just never got caught cause I am a real bitch to just tell him. But when the first relationship was over I found out that he had HIV and that he had gave it to me but that first girl he gave it to is his babymama but she is also the one he keeps running back to. So time went by slowly after our break then we got back together and this time it didnt even last 2 weeks but just like always in the beginning the sex is the bomb but I knew it had changed so I left again and you can guess who ran to again. So there we were a month ago trying to work it out once more but it didnt last. We are all in love. But he is confused about who really loves him because she doesnt have to really love you because she is your baby’s mama. But to wrap this up I feel obligated to run back to him whenever he calls because I refused to go thru this alone. Its not right for someone to love you and hurt you and then dismiss you. I am going to get revenge on him and her but I left out alot of details but they will both pay for ruining my life and I am absolutely positive about that………. HIV positive to be exact…….

dear mama

Ive lived for just 23 years but the pain has been with me forever.
Because my mother mind has been playing tricks on her since we have been together..

I can remember a time when her mind was just out of control.
We would go to sleep in the warmth of a house,but wake up outside on the bench in the cold..

Red or Green were the colors that told if me and my brother could ever go outside,
but if blue was ever seen then or lives were in danger so we had to stay in the house and hide..

Not knowing what tomorrow lies, it was her strong belief in god that keeps us alive..even in her worst of times,
So “GOD” should stop playing games and bless her with a better peace of mind.

Because the sun doesnt shine on a woman that stands alone, But my mother is my queen and she never needed a man to stand on her thorn..

So she did it on her on and strived to make my future better then what it ever could be, but it pains me to face reality that one day this sickness is going to take her away from me…

But before she goes theirs some things I need to say,
Mama I am sorry for getting mad cause you never came to watch me play
I guess i couldnt understand it was that damn sickness that kept you away.
I am sorry if it seemed like I turned my back but I just couldnt sit there and watch you suffering like that
And Iam sorry for giving you a grandaughter at such a young age
but i think you for opening the book so my family can write a new page.

Its like your in a cage mama and you just want to get out..

But you mind is your keeper and it wont let you walk freely about..

Trust that you are not without the love and support that will one day set you free
cause the devil is a liar and he needs to just let you be.

Youll see mama gods going to bless you with happiness even if its just for one day

because I know one day will be better then nothing

Because I know this sickness will “one day” take you away

Love you mama

Message

My sistas, my sistas, where do we stand?

Do we stand by the grave
Of the love that has passed away
As you hope and pray
That one day he will again see your face

Or do we stand by the man
Whose hateful hands
Has caused the pain the he himself once began
And while he’s out fuckin’ some girl named Ann
From your face the blood has ran

Tell me, do we stand on the street
Passing out your treasures like lunch meat
Steady trying to get on your feet
But on the bed he holds you down like concrete
Trying to rise but you’re in too deep

Or do we stand in the local club
Dressed like some video hoe trying to impress some wannabe thug
Loosing your dignity just to gain a dub
As he deprives you of respect and you mistake it for love

Or do we stand in front of the mirror sucking in all you are worth
Crying cause on the outside you don’t look like her
Not realizing that true beauty is an eternal gift that is given at birth
And can’t be molded or shaped like the women in Glamour

Or my sistas will you stand and shout with all your might
To stop the wrong and try to get the shit right
Because if we go on at this rate destruction is in sight
And I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t sent here to destroy, I’m here to fight

So my sistas, my sistas, I will ask you again, where do we stand?

My brothas, my brothas, when will you step in?

Will you step in when the baby you once knew as your own
Is lying there on the corner all alone
With one fatal bullet through his dome
Cause you were never there at home
To give him guidance but now he’s gone

Or will you step in when all the parties have died down
And all the cryst’al and Bentleys are no longer found
And all the girls around town
Won’t speak a sound
Because you’re nothing but a bum now

Tell me, will you step in when death comes knocking at your door
Because of some set you’ve claimed before
But your homies aint there any more
And you’ve lost your last war
As you lay dying there on the floor

Or will you step into that lonely jail cell
Because of the deadly temper you’ve thrust upon the woman in the wedding veil
And it’s easy to tell
You’ve lost your freedom as you walk down the gates of hell
And as your children sit watchin you realize your attempt to become a man has failed

Or will you step into that hospital room
As your body disintegrates into that fatal doom
And the Grim Ripper moves closer whistling his famous tune
Because you’ve been careless with your body, there aint nobody else to blame but you
As the disease known as AIDS has taken over and your final hour approaches too soon

Or my brothas will you step in when the fate of the black man
Has been reduced to the battles fought across East and West coast land
And the accomplishments of the Million Man March is now on the second hand
Because before you can strive for a better place for you to stand
You gotta continue to fight over who was behind the deaths of 2pac and Biggie over and over and over again

So listen up because I don’t think you quite comprehend that in order to protect our future, my brothas, now is the time for you to step in