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Exaggerated claims of things to be ashamed
Just to follow the crowd, instead of speaking the truth aloud
To want to feel accepted in this world is just expected
Of me, you, and everyone whose flaws and faults weigh a ton.

Low self-esteem is really a common thing
Although people these days try to act unfazed
Deep down inside always trying to hide
Their true feelings and pains, which never get them any gains

Thats why I say without a doubt, we should shout it out
Let the world know who we really are even if we arent up to par
With the expectations of our current generations
Because nine times out of ten these are the feelings of many other men.

Juaneka Gore…Poetic_Soul

dear mama

Ive lived for just 23 years but the pain has been with me forever.
Because my mother mind has been playing tricks on her since we have been together..

I can remember a time when her mind was just out of control.
We would go to sleep in the warmth of a house,but wake up outside on the bench in the cold..

Red or Green were the colors that told if me and my brother could ever go outside,
but if blue was ever seen then or lives were in danger so we had to stay in the house and hide..

Not knowing what tomorrow lies, it was her strong belief in god that keeps us alive..even in her worst of times,
So “GOD” should stop playing games and bless her with a better peace of mind.

Because the sun doesnt shine on a woman that stands alone, But my mother is my queen and she never needed a man to stand on her thorn..

So she did it on her on and strived to make my future better then what it ever could be, but it pains me to face reality that one day this sickness is going to take her away from me…

But before she goes theirs some things I need to say,
Mama I am sorry for getting mad cause you never came to watch me play
I guess i couldnt understand it was that damn sickness that kept you away.
I am sorry if it seemed like I turned my back but I just couldnt sit there and watch you suffering like that
And Iam sorry for giving you a grandaughter at such a young age
but i think you for opening the book so my family can write a new page.

Its like your in a cage mama and you just want to get out..

But you mind is your keeper and it wont let you walk freely about..

Trust that you are not without the love and support that will one day set you free
cause the devil is a liar and he needs to just let you be.

Youll see mama gods going to bless you with happiness even if its just for one day

because I know one day will be better then nothing

Because I know this sickness will “one day” take you away

Love you mama

A World Apart

Things never change!
Life is a unsolvable obstacle course, trapped inside a mind, a body and an unreasonable world.
Unimaginable pain & suffering that can only be felt by it’s own victims, but not noticed by it’s only confidants.
Collapsed voices that cant be heard, gestures that can’t be seen, and crys that can’t be understood.
Thoughts cluttered with the mirrored images of a soul that is lost in his own path, and the destruction of his unexplainable choices.
The glimmer all gone and only the black rust remains over a already tarnished being, rapidly disamating and slipping through the hands like dry sand on a windy day.
The heat to much bear, and the cold an unstoppable force that seems to be all that is comforting.
Walking on a thin line of razor blades, with only alcohol to clense the painful flesh.
The aroma of heartache overtakes the sweet smell of desire, and overpowers the innocence of life.
With heartbeats shorter and breaths gasping fiendin for relief no where in sight.
Lifeless and motionless standing in the middle of a battlefield with a war going on inside, destroying and gaining control of an unexpected infantry.
The impact of silent wounds causing chaos and havoc with outburst that leak through the pores like deadly gases and cause mental explosions simular to sonic booms.
Eyes wide shut that can only be open like Venician blinds, but closed like scars under surgical repair.
Concieving motives to break out of the wrath of an inferior society where pain is love, but love is pain and the passion for an answer cant be accomplished because it trapped in a safe yet to be discovered.
It’s a different world where everyone comes from.
No laughter, no joy, no rejoice.
Only painful realities, misguided dreams and blisters from the everlasting struggle that will continue until the hurt stops and the emotional sighs of relief eclipse the excrutiating terror of living in a world with no progress of change that is recognizable in this lifetime!

Connection

A thought came to me…
These words you read
Are not poetry
Just my narration
Of the things
That I feel, think, experience, believe, and see
A glimpse into the womb of my mind
Where ideas aren’t always conceived immaculately
Because influence comes in many forms constantly
Both internally and externally
But I share with you my mentality
As I remove my mask and strip naked
And allow you to see ME
The pen acting as midwife
In my attempt to birth and give life to my thoughts
And make them reality
Living and breathing
Constantly growing and changing
Going through phases
Just as you and me
Because in all actuality
Life is truly the poetry
In motion
Perpetuated by forces
Seen and “unseen”
Heard and “unheard”
Felt and “not felt”
New lines and concepts
Are added continuously
As life changes constantly
Molding
Weakening
Breaking
Rebuilding
Strengthening
and Shaping
ME
And at times I am struck
With moments of clarity
Like the thought that
I am you
And you are me
Everything is connected to everything
So we are we
A patchwork quilt
Made with different swatches of fabric
Of many different colors, patterns, and textures
That look nice individually
But sewn together
Create a work of art
That was crafted beautifully
And masterfully
See, life is about connection
Of all things
From mental
To physical
To spiritual
The trinity of life
That exists in and around us
But is often ignored
Because somewhere between
Our inception and conception
We lost our sense of connectivity
Walking around
In the ambiguity of individuality
Assuming that it is all about us personally
Never stopping to notice
The cause and effect
Or the cause and affect
That links us all non-physically
Yet we exchange vibes and energy
Sometimes purposefully
Sometimes inadvertently
Our eyes are wide shut usually
Often too disconnected from self
To appreciated the exchange
And the connection to our surroundings
But for a moment and all of a sudden
I was wide awake
And I saw the world differently
So I fight sleep mentally
Staying conscious
By attempting to wake you
And make you think
Provoking and evoking enlightenment
So that you can join me
Because from where I stand
It can get lonely
So I share myself with you
So you can get to know me
And connect.

J.B. ©2006

Where Are The Children?

si_love2@hotmail.com

Do you remember the girls jumping double-dutch and playing jacks on the front porch or the boys playing football and running that basketball up and down the court? I long to hear their laughter. Their innocence is gone. They are no longer dreaming dreams because they live in the nightmare of this reality. Because Daddy is gone and Momma is working 2 jobs, teachers don’t care, and the neighbors mind their own business now a day. What happened to the African Proverb, ‘it takes a village to raise a child?’ The village is now in an uproar and Our Children are raising themselves. What happened to the neighborhood centers that use to keep Our Children safe after school? Oh, I forgot the politicians promised them funding but the programs got the ax during to last budget cut. Now you see red and blue banners waving from pockets or wrapped around heads. Our children are wearing them like badges of honor, the tell tale sign that the gangs are taking over and if Our Children wear either color they will end up dead.
Mothers and Fathers I must ask:
“Do you know where your Child is?”

Kya’s Story

si_love2@hotmail.com

Positive!!! I can’t believe this, my whole life flashed before my eyes. It seems just

yesterday I was a young girl growing up in the 80’s. Life couldn’t get much better than

planet rock on the radio and skating to play it at your own risk at the roller rink. That’s

when I was funky fresh 2 death, blazen- shouting out “ho now & whip-whip”. Back when

I jumped double-dutch and played hide and go get it in the park after dark. Going

swimming at the community pool and eating free lunch in the park. (Remember those

bolonga and cheese sandwiches or that thick peanut butter and jelly on the round roll.)

Fighting with the girls in the neighborhood about my boyfriend not knowing he was

supposed to be ‘what’ their boyfriend. Life was simple before the weed smoking, 40

drinking, M.D. 20/20 strawberry banana red sipping, cutting class, playing hooky and

running from the truant officer.

1983 jumbos now on the scene, everybody trying to clock them dollars,

turned wanna be gangsters and hustlers. Big Daddy Kane said, “anything goes when it comes

to hoes cause pimping ain’t easy.” Now ain’t that the truth cause crack was

the pimp and it made me its hoe! Now I’m living in hell with this unquenchable thirst.

Doing what I do, by any means necessary, what ever works to get that next fix, that blast.

Never quite like the first, but trying to make this hit last. Life was simple

before county lockup with the jones. My body’s aching stomach hurts I’m crying out,

“Please God take this pain away from me, I promise I won’t use anymore.”

Mid 90’s I’m coming home clean and sober. Brighter

days are here. I’m working got a new car, apartment, and a new man. Life couldn’t get

much better than this, so it seems, there are some rumors going around town about the

true love that I’ve found. They say, “do you know he got that batman, that thang –thang,

the As-I-Die-Slowly.” I don’t believe nothing they say, I’m going to get checked to prove

them all wrong, because my man loves me and he wouldn’t keep something like that

from me. The doctor’s office called, it took 2 weeks for the results to come in, my

appointment tomorrow at noon. As I anxiously sit in the waiting area I hear my name

called. I follow the nurse to where the doctor is waiting, he asks me to sit down, checks

his chart turns to me and says, “Ms. Brown I’m sorry to inform you that you are HIV positive.”

Positive –‘DAMN’ I’m positive.

After being told that your HIV Positive, so much runs thru ones mind. I want to live I don’t

want to die. Why did this happen to me? What do I tell my family, how will my friends treat me.

How could the man that I love do this to me? The drive home was grueling, I stopped off to the

neighborhood bar for drinks to calm my nerves some. Got to tell my man what he’s done,

‘DAMN!’ For the first time in a long time everything in my life was going right. Was there

something In my past that I had to atone for, If so why does the repayment have to be death? I

feel like I’m being punished, Why me?

My nerves are still a mess, so I have one more drink then I leave. I get to the house my man

is there. I go inside and take off my jacket, I sit down beside him, he asks how was my day and tell him what the

doctor said. He denies that it was he who has given me this disease. I tell him what my friends were saying. He

became angry then punches me in my face!!!! And that punch lead to other punches followed by

kicks, he beat me to a bloody pulp. And as he left the house he spit on me while my lifeless body

laid on that living room floor.

I was bleeding, crying, hurting, and feeling sorry for myself on that living room floor. So

much runs through ones mind. Maybe he didn’t give it to me. Maybe it’s me. But I knew better, I

know for a fact that it was my man who handed me this death sentence like he was judge and jury

himself. Now I’m wondering, How many others have fallen pray to his ill disregard for life? How

many innocent victims he has left behind? Yes, victims for Love, We are victims for wanting

someone to love us, victims for wanting to give our love unconditional. Victims because we had listened to a

man that said all the right things, “your beautiful, I need you, you complete me, I Love You.”

So much runs through ones mind. As I lay in this hospital bed looking back, Dear hearts

choose life. Choose life, there is no one more important then yourself. If he says that

“the condom is too tight”, “doesn’t fit”, “it doesn’t feel natural”, “why should he have too”…

Love yourself enough and CHOOSE TO LIVE!

Domestic Patterns

by – kwon316 – live_316

whether its the sleeping or cheating
the habits are persistent

dates back to mom and dad handling their differences
settling it with verbal or abusive conflicts

young brother wish times were better
these arguments taint and make him bitter

coming of age, hes ready to date
past influences cause him to impregnate

mind is twisted
reality is sinking in

he flees from the problem
leaving the baby’s mama without dada

child support rushed his door
only to find him consumed with alcohol on the floor

he was then sentence 10 years
all he can do is reflect his young years

American employment

T-mania –
Don’t discriminate against me
Can’t you see
You are hurting me

My soul is on hold when you come around
Trying to impress you with a smile
When deep beneath is a frown

Its not fair
Can’t you see
You are hurting me

Changing my speech pattern so you can see
I am not the person you perceive me to be

Can’t you see
You are hurting me

Don’t laugh
It ain’t funny
I have to put my soul on hold for the money

Or else
How will I live
A helping hand you won’t give

And I don’t want it
I can hold my own
I see thru that smile
That you and I both know is fake as silicone

Guess what? I am human like you
Its a fact
If another human being did it
I can do it too

Can’t you see
You are hurting me

Now, have I ever done that to you!
You speak like me cause you WANT to

Let me be me

Who I am

Where I’m from

Is me

Can’t you see
You need to stop
Cause you are really hurting me

Movement of Word

by- mickeye48 – michelenorris@cox.net

Lyrical scripting
Poetic extensions of the mind
Focusing on the verbs
Feeling their movement
Stinging like a thousand fire ants
On a hot summer day
Making you reach down and scratch
To take the pain away
Shear pleasure of the flow of word
Making love to you
Needing you, wanting you
Too afraid not to write you
Scripting the sublime
Close your eyes and write
Feel what you need to say, then
Say it, take your time
Go beyond the norm with
Controversy
Write educate our minds with
Your own
Need to read what you feel
Incorporate and it and grow
Pieces of your mind floating
Around, like remnants in a water glass
Trying to catch what you want to say
One word at a time
Making you tear at the thought of
A thought beyond control
That had long since been buried
Reaching and picking up the baggage
But you only put it on paper
You dare not write
What your heart is feeling
Somebody might judge you
But the creative juices
Seep out like sweat during good sex
The blockage is too hard to bear
Can’t finish the piece
Staring at the paper
Its killing you cause
Your pores are opened
And the beads of words keep
Popping out on your skin
Stop
Breathe
Close your eyes and start again
Ah, that’s it that’s the thought
The verses began to form again
True love of verse is a jealous love
Don’t want anyone touching your word
But it seems like someone just jacked a line
Nope
We’re a mindset
Thinking along the same lines and
Rhymes conjoins us like twins
Spitting verse as if we were born together
Love it,
Embrace it
Taste it
Digest it
Write it
Don’t ever murder
The lyrical scripting
phone call
Long Dinner
Flirty conversation
silk sheets
nina simone playing
flickering candles
chocolate pudding
kinky movie
whipped cream
sticky embraces
humid environment
eyes talking
caramel kisses
Wet sheets
playful fingers
wet flesh
grinding hips
hungry mouths
hot hands
a touch
a caress
a smile
a laugh
Just thinking about this….Feels GOOD

As I Ponder the Depths of MY Soul

by- slikasista – slikasista@yahoo.com

As I Ponder the depths of my soul I feel a sense of longing.
Why am I at a loss for answers?
This longing is so foreign to me.
I feel so isolated from the very essence of me.
I wake in the morn restless and confused.
Did my dreams not give me the clues to the answers I so desperately needed?
Or were the nightmares so ghastly that I dare not probe?
As I ponder the depths of my soul.
In search of the true meaning of me.
I am so afraid to unlock Pandoras Box.
The things that are so securely locked away,
may be hidden in the dark abyss of my mind with just cause.
As I Ponder the depths of my soul.
Will I fear the true meaning of me?