Breathe

I can be all the woman that u want
I can be all woman that u need
I can make ur wildest fantasy into reality…
But I cant now
Because I cannot Breathe

I could give u a love so unbreakably strong
I could give u happiness beyond belief
I could give u me day to night, night to day , day to night…
But I cant now
Because I cannot Breathe

Your 10 fingers around my neck are slowing griping tighter
Even when I notion to u that the white light near the end
Is getting brighter & brighter & brighter
From top to bottom I feel the
Jealousy
Animosity
Controversy
Hypocrisy

Lack of love
Lack of trust
Broken Promises
Empty Lust
Little Goals
Few Dreams
Restricts the airflow,
Suffocating me

You have a diamond,
A rare pearl from within the deep seas
You have what some men search a lifetime for…
You have all of this at your fingertips
But instead you choose to extract all of the air out of my body
Leaving me limp, lifeless…deceased
Because I could not Breathe

Tin woman, why do you kiss me back?

Why do you kiss me back?
Sista, you can’t give me what I need
Instead you only provide me with signs I misread to be something more
But instead of green lights to go forward
They are just misguided detours
Sex with you is a weapon
Leaving my chest open with a heart still beating
Seething for you
Searing like the steaming hot love scene we embraced
Dripping love oil from my lips to my face
Hot bodies gliding, releasing inward frustrations
It was needed, but only because I was convenient
A fool to your love, a toy for your baby boy
You played me, used me, and abused me
But why
For every tear that came to your eyes
I resigned to be your handkerchief
A Kleenex, a shoulder to brace your neck
For all that others did to you, I tried to mend
A light unreal lover and a deep true friend
Like a night without stars you could see clear through me
And all I wanted to do was be with you through the twilight
At night, drive to be by your side when you would arise from any nightmare
Just to be there
To put you on my back and carry you over hot sand
To pyramid castles, this man would build, just so you could touch the sky
To prove it was not a lie
So you could find something to equal your beauty
How could you do this to me?
In the presence of darkness you forgot how to love
But still want to be loved, hugged, and kissed
And with your lips, you turn Judas
And kiss me back, but like a tin machine you are empty inside
My queen somehow at some point was left by the way side
Like the Tin Man leaving Oz, you are left without a heart
So you can’t give me what I need
And I don’t need to misread your motives
And you don’t need to misread mine
The light has finally turned green for me to go
And you are left behind

Avid

you

all the thinking of wanting you here

sometimes becomes hurtful

the thoughts the smiles

i have pictured so many, many times

is it truly next year

for you ane me

i wonder i wonder

will i get to see you the beautiful person you really are

will i understand who you are to me

will i understand who i am to you

life is confusing now

and there have been days where i’ve wanted you here

sometimes i think you won’t like me

sometimes i think i won’t be good enough for you

where am i going

our my steps leading to you

am i going in circles

that seems like what my dreams tell me

being surrounded is what i always wanted

and now , that feeling no longer remains

always wanting to be apart

but now no longer, no longer do i wish to remain

apart of , among, or in between

it was what i thought i needed to be happy

but i was wrong

watching it from afar made me cry

because that’s how much i really wanted to be apart

this word i do not understand

because i do no even consider my self a friend

i don’t know what it means

to be a friend

sharing, caring, smiling, laughing

is that what its really all about

somethings i saw far away

made me want to stay away

feeling the need to protect my heart

feeling the need to protect what’s left of me

i guess you just have to take the good with the bad

i guess it won’t always be what you want and imagined

 

Nonsense Makes Sense

We tango sambo
Manifesting delicious
Delinquency to the tune
Of tito
Ditto machito & his afro-cubans
Plantation palpitations
Bandana fandango
Somber sambo
Santeria celia
Cruz middle passage
Memorizing meringue
Sherbro sho bro
Talk that talk
Tantalize romanticize
Defecate delinquencies
Until p diddy’s umbrella
Is eunichized

Colonial Colón
Original origami
Paper tigers like Swans, geishas, Gertrude
& Virginia
Shakespeare’s sister
In a room of her own
But I’da b well damned
If that be my destiny.

Isis Osiris
Sister brother
Wife husband
ashes spread across seven skies
And I, sis, come looking
Reunification rectification
Holy wholeness
Can’t flub it
Or fuck with it
Untouchable like beloved
Whole womb
Embraces total nut
And it’s on
Like donkey kong
Or king kong.
who ain’t got nuttin on me
Cept extended stomach
Moon round
Full and fecund
Digging the ground
For roots
Sooty black foots my only carriage
But divorce not marriage
That be how I do it do i
While you try to woo it
only to end up rueing it
behind some foolish shit

but that ain’t the end
as I extend into tomorrow
no sorrow
as I search the world round
for the proper noun
to give my seed

P.A.C vs my history
sobukwe no way
Dahomey da homey
Africa to america
Da homey
Get it on, Gat it on
get get gone
only grass seen
prison lawn

don 3 of 4
1st sankara
2nd kono
And yeah, fauna
Has his name
Nowhere near lame

And I reclaim my fame
Signing my true name
I, Sis, You, Bro, San, Son
Isis Osiris and Horus
True trinity.

©2006 Tichaona M. Chinyelu

Silent Cries, That Now I Hear So Clear

What happens when you ignore a woman’s silent cries?
Tears asking for more, that simply go unheard,
Covering with lies to disguise the truth a man can not accept 
Regrets, these things follow us so long 
Well after the person has left and gone 
And a man is left staring at the door, wondering 
I don’t know what it was, 
I could blame it on a thousand things 
But I just wasn’t listening 
With all the clutter of the real world I couldn’t avoid 
I just couldn’t hear her 
Too much noise in the background 
I know there was a void and I tried to cover substance with empty promises 
Thinking it could be traded and compensated 
Thinking I could return again later 
Making good on all that I swore I would 
But sometimes, for all the promises, the realities are just not enough 
And you are left, wondering 
You are left wishing 
Hoping 
That that front door would just open,
That you’d hear the key crackling 
And life would be the same again 
In your heart, you know that this time would be different 
That you’d make enough time, more than enough, 
For every five minutes she needed to confide in you, 
You’d give her an hour 
For every moment she wanted to be next to you, 
You’d give her a night full 
For every time she wanted to see a movie ,
You’d give her a production 
For every song she wanted to hear, 
You’d choreograph a symphony 
For every time she missed you, 
You’d be there 
Could she have really found love,
in the arms of another?
Time ticks
Wishes becoming silent tears
Memories become silent hauntings
Thoughts becoming silent fears
Feelings becoming silent wantings
The clock does tick,
And regrets, they follow us so long
Well after she has left
Well after she has moved on
With tears now running down a my closed eyes
I hear a key, finally crackling in the door  

Avid

Let’s Make It Me & You

I know what we’re doing is wrong
but when our bodies connect, it just feels so right
see, when you touch me in all the right places
I feel this power fall over me like voodoo.
But when he touches me, that feeling isn’t there
You see, he satisfies me emotionally
but you satisfy me physically, sexually and mentally.
When I lay alone in my bed, I can feel your
strong hands caressing my body.
I can feel your tongue touch my spine
I can feel you slowly searching for my soul.
I never meant for this to go this far
but you trapped me in your maze of lust
and now I can’t get out.
Don’t get me wrong, what we do feels good in every way
but we’re only hurting ourselves.
I can’t have you the way I want you
and you can’t have me.
So is this a waste of our time?
Or is this our destiny,
to please and be pleased?
Was it meant for you to be addicted to how I feel inside?
Was it meant for me to let you?
These are the questions I ponder on everyday
when I think of you….
when I think of us….
I don’t want to put an end to our little rendevous
so let’s just make it something more…
ME & YOU…..

Stay Strong

He was never mine
But the love he gave to me was divine
He was like my remedy
But he only helped with one need
I made the mistake by letting my feelings get too strong
But what he did was wrong…
I have to let all this sh– burn
I’m not going to sit here and yearn
He ain’t worth it
I need a man who’s legit
Cuz I’m so sick of these unfaithful muthafuckas round here
Is it too hard for a girl to find a brutha who can be faithful and sincere…
All the ones I’ve seen are the same…
All them niggas love to run these gamez.
Why haven’t I found one who can do right?
All the good ones don’t seem to come into my sight.
I been fallin’ for the same ones errytime..
Why have I been making the wrong ones mine?
But once you’ve given yourself to someone it’s impossible not to reminisce….
Because In you, he will always exist…
And in the end, when the game is adjourned…
you’re alwayz left with a lesson learned.

Alone but NOT Lonely

The thought of us together
Used to send me thoughts of pleasure
I’d give anything to trust you again
But you’ve committed the unforgivable sin

I’m sorry baby what more can I say
We both know you fucked up in a major way
The love we shared, you’ve definately killed
Don’t worry my heart was very quickly healed

You say you’re no longer interested in other women
And that if I forgive you, you’ll never do it again
I know you’ve said it over and over
It only happened because you weren’t sober

You said I was the only one who owned your heart
I remember when I thought that we’d never part
You say you still haven’t found a better lover
Maybe it’s because you’re supposed to suffer

And that you wish you hadn’t put our love to the test
Because now you’ve realized now that I was the best
You say you know better now,
And you ask if I can tell
But all I want to say “Go Directly to Hell!”

You say it’s gettin’ harder for you just livin’
But you dont need to wonder if you will ever be forgiven?
The answer is no! I just can’t let that happen
So all I can do is suggest you keep on steppin’.

Juaneka Gore…Poetic_Soul